THIS week's Wife Swap (or The Fraudsters, The Fishwife and her Fella, as it should have been called) fell way below its usual standards because the word "celebrity" in the title made the quartet believe they had an image to protect.
Clearly, Humiliation TV only works with people who've never been before a camera. Because the ones who have, especially those whose names you barely know, see it as a springboard to a new career.
Take the cheating Ingrams from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire who swapped with terminally-thick Jade Goody and the geezer cashing in on her five minutes of fame.
They are clearly pitching for Neil and Christine Hamilton's slot. They lack class or any knowledge of the world outside the country cottage they hang on to by cashing in on their crimes.
Like Mrs Hamilton, Diana Ingram is manipulative and lacks all self-awareness. ("What is 'minging'?" she asked, expecting us to believe her house had no mirrors.)
While the Major, like Neil Hamilton, plays the eccentric, hard-done-to buffoon. And, like the Hamiltons, you can't watch them on TV without throwing your shoe at them.
Surely Channel 4 could think of a better way of humiliating the Ingrams than by ruining their best show. Like lowering them slowly into a vat of boiling liquid used to make cough sweets.
Source: The Brian Reade Column, www.mirror.co.uk
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